Your Child's Bent

Do you know your child's "bent"?  Christy and I had a recent chat about the importance of knowing our children's bent after she sat through an enouraging session with our student ministries pastor and his wife.  The basic idea is that children have strengths and if parents pay attention they can encourage those strengths in the activities they choose for their children.  The flip side is true also.  If parents don't pay attention they may and will likely stifle those strengths.

My thought today is that sometimes strengths are hidden and are perceived as a weakness.  Take energy and enthusiasm for example.  I have a son who has enough energy and enthusiasm to move the world off its axis.  If I'm not careful I'll be tempted to stifle that energy because it can be annoying or distracting.  Or I can fan the flame and direct it toward helping him understand ambition and determination.  I've come to understand that this child is extremely head strong and willing to do just about anything to get the job done WHEN HE SETS HIS MIND ON IT.  So to help him with this bent I give him tasks that allow him to see how this ambition can benefit him and others.

There is another side to this coin.  Can a coin have three sides?  This one does.  In my estimation a bent can be used for good or bad.  And here is the third side of the coin.  The bent is not necessarily the problem but how it is being used.  My task as a parent is to recognize the bent, how it is being used, and TRAIN my child how to use it for the good.  When my child uses his or her bent to accomplish bad things it is my job to help him or her know why and how to correct it.  When I was in middle school I had a little trouble holding my tongue.  Whatever came to my mind first I said.  One time I spoke out too quickly and apparently loud enough for the BIBLE teacher to hear.  I couldn't take it back.  I spent the next hour wondering what my penalty would be.  I don't remember the penalty but I do remember what the BIBLE teacher told me.  He told me that the same thought had crossed his mind (well before I blurted it out) but that he had learned to control his tongue.  He didn't discourage my quick whit just my quick mouth.  In doing so he gave me the freedom to strengthen my whit and think about how to use it for the positive.  I'm still learning.